Monday, July 13, 2009

THINGS I DISLIKE ABOUT NATURE!


Now, I know I am always writing about the things I love about nature, sometimes trying to convince you, the reader, to love them too. But as I walked the Refresher Course, musing on life, I got to thinking about some of the things that just really "bug" me. Oddly, bugs didn't make it into my top 7 list:

The Modesty of the Ground
Soil refuses to lay bare and be exposed for long. It must cover itself always...and often with things I don't want...like invasive species or tree saplings smack-dab in the middle of my perennial garden...making me feel like a bad eco-cad for ripping it out of the ground. This need for some kind of green garment makes the task of mulching and weeding a constant burden...and if you put it off for a few weeks...oi!!
The Mental Telepathy of Butterflies
I see a butterfly gorging on the nectar of a prairie flower...I have my camera on, pointed, set and ready to go. Then, just when I say to myself, "OK, one more step and I'll be close enough to take the shot," it flies away. This happens over and over...with every butterfly...becoming increasingly frustrating. After awhile a lepodopteria conspiracy theory begins to develop in my mind...
The Mutability of Mushrooms
I suppose I don't have the patience to begin ID-ing fungi at Prairie Pond Woods just yet...because one day it is one color and the next it is red or bumpy or takes on a completely different shape. They vex me.
The Magic of Spider Webbing
Even the most seasoned naturalist, if only mildly tortured, will confess to hating the surprise and sensation of walking face first into either a piece of silk strung across a path, or a full-blown orb. It is one of the most disconcerting experiences because in most cases the spider is never seen...and could easily be anywhere!
The Masochism of Thorns
I have scars on my legs from blackberry canes, rosa multiflora branches, and greenbrier vines that are never going away! They are deep, long lacerations, altering whatever feminine quality my "gams" have left. Sometimes when I come back from a walk, blood is dripping off of me and I don't even know it.
The Limitation of Humidity
How much doesn't get done that either should get done or we want to do, because of the quality of the air, when it is no longer a gas but borders on being a solid? Its just no fun when you can't breathe or thermo-regulate!
The Chutzpah of Racoons
I never kill a racoon because I think something that smart deserves to live and procreate. Even though they cost me hundreds of dollars in broken objects, demoralize me when I think I have outwitted them, and obviously hate my potted flower arrangements...I still gotta hand it to em! But I don't have to like it.
The Fecundity of Cats
I discovered a cat lounging in my vegetable garden about a month ago. Since our lives are a bit hectic these days to incorporate our first love, German Shepherds, into our lives, we thought maybe we would keep it. That is, if it fit into our lives...not too needy, not too schitzoid, not too clingy. It was smaller than our last cat, The Dude (may he RIP), so we thought we had time to get it spade, de-clawed, etc. About 2 weeks ago, I noticed projecting nipples and bulging sides. We should have added "not too pregnant" to our rental agreement. Anyone want a kitten?